I’ve decided to start sharing some of the #metoo stories that others in the industry have shared with me — with permission of course. If you would like to share your story of rape, abuse, sexual assault or sexual harassment with me to post here on my site (your own #MeToo story) you can email it to me. Just please make sure to let me know if you want me to redact your name so that I know or not if I should post it anonymously.
I was new to porn a few years ago. The agent I signed with was the first one I met. I was stupid. I know now I should have shopped around but back then I had no clue what I was doing.
The first scene he booked me for was a boy/girl. I kept asking for more details of the shoot like the location, and who the scene was with but he wouldn’t tell me anything. He just kept putting me off.
Finally the day before the shoot I insisted he had to at the very least tell me where the shoot was so I could show up. He said I didn’t need to take an Uber, that he would drive me to the set. I thought that was nice of him. For all I knew, all agents went with performers to their sets. I was new. What did I know?
The entire way there, he never said a word about who I was going to be performing with. It was only after we arrived that he informed me he was my scene partner.
I told him I wasn’t okay with that. He got very defensive and called me racist.
I assured him it had nothing to do with the color of his skin, that I wasn’t interested in having sex with him specifically because he was my agent and that would make for a weird dynamic. He could replace the male talent with any male of any color. It wasn’t an issue of race, it was because he was my agent and that wasn’t professional. I didn’t feel comfortable having sex with my agent.
It also bothered me that he didn’t tell me. It was like he went out of his way to hide it from me.
I felt sexually harassed. I felt lied to. I felt betrayed.
Then I was given an ultimatum. I either do the scene, my first ever scene mind you, or pay a $500 cancellation fee. Now considering the fact that he was only paying me $450 for the scene, I couldn’t understand how he could justify charging me more to cancel the scene than he was going to pay me for the scene in the first place.
When I still didn’t agree to do the scene with him, he made it clear that I compiled or else. I wondered just what “or else” really meant. He let me know that the last girl who “pulled this shit on him” sat out her entire contract, not getting any bookings for the full year.
I knew I couldn’t afford not to work for a year. And at the time I didn’t know that what he was telling me was a lie. All I knew was that I had a legally signed contract with his company and if I didn’t do what he said, I could be screwed. I would be homeless.
So I did what I had to do. I agreed to let him have sex with me. I felt like at the time I didn’t have another choice.
I know now that coercion is not okay. I know that to threaten someone to try and force them to have sex with you, or using intimidation, is fucked up. I was lucky and ended up getting out of my contract with that agent and I’ll always be grateful to the people who helped me do that.
I found out later that he uses coercion to force a lot of girls to have sex with him. The guy should be in jail but instead, he’s operating as a sexual predator with impunity because he knows the girls he signs with his agency can’t afford to fight back. They are broke and desperate just like I was.
I wasn’t this agent’s first victim and I wasn’t the last. He’s still up to his tricks to this day. It’s sad really. I’m just glad I got away from him and am strong enough now to use my voice and say no and to share my Me Too story with all of you.