I’ve decided to start sharing some of the #metoo stories that others in the industry have shared with me — with permission of course. If you would like to share your story of rape, abuse, sexual assault or sexual harassment with me to post here on my site (your own #MeToo story) you can email it to me. Just please make sure to let me know if you want me to redact your name so that I know or not if I should post it anonymously.
Thank you, Kelli, for letting me share my #metoo story. I’m not looking for justice against the man who assaulted me. It just is nice to know that I’m not alone and I want to share my story so that others know they aren’t alone either.
I had just broken up with my asshole boyfriend and didn’t have a place to go. A fellow female performer invited me to stay at her house. Because she was a female I felt like I could trust her, that with her I would be safe. I mean if anyone could understand what I was going through at that time, it would be another girl in the industry, right?
At first, everything seemed great, the girl seemed so supportive. She also had a lot of great ideas about how I could make some extra money to get back on my feet. They all sounded great. Again, I thought I could trust her. She really did seem so supportive and caring.
As the days turned to weeks she began to get more and more insistent on things like access to my email, and my social media accounts. Looking back now I can see this girl wasn’t a friend, trying to help me get back on my feet. She was a user who was smart enough to take advantage of someone when they were at their lowest.
What really opened my eyes about this girl though was the day she sent me to drop off some paperwork at her attorney’s office. When I walked into his office his secretary gave me the strangest look when I told her that the girl, my roommate had sent me to drop off some paperwork.
She didn’t want to touch the papers. She wouldn’t even look me in the eye. Right from the start, I got the strangest vibe. If I trusted my gut I would have thrown the papers on her desk and ran out of the office.
She called for her boss, the attorney, and let him know I had arrived. As I walked into his office, I noticed she was quickly gathering her things and leaving her desk.
At the time I guessed she was just going for a break or something. I’m not sure I gave it much thought. It was only after that I realized she was probably leaving her desk because she knew exactly what was about to happen in the very next room.
I walked into his office and handed him the papers I was asked to give him.
He invited me to sit down. I said no at first, I mean why stay? I was only told to drop off the papers but he was insisted, so I took a seat.
He started telling me how he worked with porn stars all the time, he did a lot of trademarks and handled contract issues with bad agents and always gave his favorite girls a “special rate”. The way he kept saying special rate made my skin crawl. I just wanted to get out of there.
As he was telling me this, he got out of his chair and came around his desk.
I knew at that moment I was in trouble but what could I do?
The man looked at me and said “(THE GIRL WHO SENT ME) said you were a pretty little thing. She was right”.
Then he started to touch me.
I didn’t know what to do. I just froze. Thinking back now I guess I could have screamed out or tried to run but honestly, I was just in so much shock. I think I just wanted him to hurry up and get it over with so I could get out of there.
When it was done he told me to give my roommate a message, “consider her bill up to now was paid in full”.
I cried all the way home and for days after. My roommate told me to grow up. That’s just how things in this industry work.
I couldn’t believe my roommate had used me like that. Even worse, I couldn’t believe an attorney would force himself on a girl and somehow think that was okay. It was clear I didn’t want to be there. It was clear I didn’t want him touching me but it was also clear he wasn’t going to give me a choice in the matter. He held me down and took what he wanted from me.
A few month’s later I met another girl in the industry who had used this guy for her trademark. He messed up her application, accidentally revealing her real name and home address to the world. When she demanded he fix his mistake he demanded another $350.
Real nice guy huh?